A Marriage Booklet for Simple Pastors126
Martin Luther
“So many lands, so many customs,” says the common proverb. For this reason, because weddings and the married estate are worldly affairs, it behooves those of us who are “spirituals”127 or ministers of the church in no way to order or direct anything regarding marriage, but instead to allow every city and land to continue their own customs that are now in use. Some bring the bride to the church twice, in both the evening and the morning, some only once. Some announce it publicly and publish the banns from the pulpit two or three weeks in advance. All these and similar things I leave to the prince and town council to create and arrange as they want. It is no concern of mine.
However, when people request of us to bless them in front of the church or in the church, to pray over them, or even to marry them, we are obligated to do this. Therefore I wanted to offer these words of advice and this order for those who do not know anything better, in case they are inclined to use this common order with us. Others, who can do better (that is, who can do nothing at all and who nevertheless think they know it all), do not need this service of mine, unless they might greatly improve on it and masterfully correct it. They certainly ought to take great care not to follow the same practice as others. A person might think that they had learned something from someone else! Wouldn’t that be a shame?
Because up to now people have made such a big display at the consecrations of monks and nuns (even though their estate128 and existence is an ungodly, human invention without any basis in the Bible), how much more should we honor this godly estate of marriage and bless it, pray for it, and adorn it in an even more glorious manner. For, although it is a worldly estate, nevertheless it has God’s Word on its side and is not a human invention or institution, like the estate of monks and nuns.129 Therefore it should easily be reckoned a hundred times more spiritual than the monastic estate, which certainly ought to be considered the most worldly and fleshly of all, because it was invented and instituted by flesh and blood and completely out of worldly understanding and reason.
We must also do this in order that the young people may learn to take this estate seriously, to hold it in high esteem as a divine work and command, and not to ridicule it in such outrageous ways with laughing, jeering, and similar levity. This has been common until now, as if it were a joke or child’s play to get married or to have a wedding. Those who first instituted the custom of bringing a bride and bridegroom to church surely did not view it as a joke but as a very serious matter.130 For there is no doubt that they wanted to receive God’s blessing and the community’s prayers131 and not to put on a comedy or a pagan farce.
The ceremony itself makes this clear. For all who desire prayer and blessing from the pastor or bishop132 indicate thereby—whether or not they say so expressly—to what danger and need they are exposing themselves and how much they need God’s blessing and the community’s prayers for the estate into which they are entering. For we experience every day how much unhappiness the devil causes in the married estate through adultery, unfaithfulness, discord, and all kinds of misery.
Therefore we want to deal in the following way with the bride and bridegroom (when they desire and demand it).
First, publish the banns133 from the pulpit with the following words:
“John N. and Mary N.134 wish to enter the holy estate of matrimony according to God’s ordinance and desire the prayers of the Christian congregation on their behalf so that they may begin it in God’s name and have it turn out well. Now should anyone have anything to say against this, let him or her speak at this time or hereafter remain silent. God grant them his blessing. Amen.”
Exchange vows135 in front of the church with the following words:
“John, do you desire to have Mary as your wedded wife?”
Let him answer: “Yes.”
“Mary, do you desire to have John as your wedded husband?”
Let her answer: “Yes.”
Here let them exchange wedding rings and join their right hands together, and say to them:
“What God joins together, no human being ought to separate.”136
Then let the pastor declare to all who are present:
“Therefore because John N. and Mary N. desire each other in marriage and confess the same here publicly in the presence of God and the world, in testimony of which they have given each other their hands and wedding rings, I pronounce them joined in marriage, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.”
In front of the altar137 let the pastor read God’s word from Genesis 2[:18*, 21–24*] over the bride and groom.
“Then the Lord God said, ‘It is not good that the human being should be alone; I will make him a helper who will stand by his side.’138 So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the human being, and he slept; and he took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the Lord God built a woman out of the rib that he had taken from the human being, and he brought her to him. Then the human being said: ‘This is truly bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh. This one will be called woman, because she is taken out of man.’ Therefore a man will leave his father and mother and cling to his wife, and they will be one flesh.”
Then let the pastor turn to both and address them thus:
“Because you both have entered into the married estate in God’s name, hear first of all God’s commandment concerning this estate. Thus says St. Paul:139
“‘Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church140 and gave himself up for her, in order to make her holy, and has cleansed her through the washing of water in the Word, in order to prepare for himself a church that will be glorious,141 that has neither spot nor wrinkle nor anything of the kind, but instead that she may be holy and blameless. So also husbands ought to love their wives like their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but instead he nourishes it and takes care of it, just as the Lord does for the church.
“‘Wives, be subject to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, just as Christ is also the head of the church, and he is the savior of his body. But as now the church is subject to Christ, so also the women are subject to their husbands in all things.’
“Second, hear also the cross that God has placed upon this estate.142 ‘To the woman God said:
“‘“I will create much distress for you in childbirth. You shall bear your children in distress, and you shall cringe before your husband, and he shall be your lord.”
“‘And to the man God said:
“‘“Because you have listened to the voice of your wife and have eaten from the tree, about which I commanded you and said, ‘You shall not eat from it,’ cursed is the ground because of you. In distress you shall nourish yourself your whole life long. The ground shall bring forth thorns and thistles for you, and you shall eat the grass of the field. By the sweat of your face shall you eat your bread, until you return again to the earth from which you were taken. For you are earth and shall return to earth.”‘
“Third, this is your comfort, that you know and believe how your estate is pleasing and blessed in God’s eyes. For it is written:143
“‘God created the human being in his image, in the image of God he created them. He created them a male and a female, and God blessed them and said to them: “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth and subdue it; and have dominion over the fish in the sea and over the birds in the air and over all animals that crawl on the earth.” And God saw all that he had made, and look, it was all very good.’
“Therefore Solomon also says,144 ‘Whoever finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains a blessing from the Lord.’”
At this point let the pastor spread his hands over them and pray:145
Lord God, who have created man and woman and have ordained them for the married estate, have blessed them also with the fruit of the womb, and have therein signified the sacrament of your dear Son Jesus Christ and the church,146 his bride: We beseech your never-ending goodness that you would not permit this your creation, ordinance, and blessing to be removed or destroyed, but graciously preserve it among us through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
126 This text, also printed as a separate pamphlet in 1529, was included in most editions of the Small Catechism printed during Luther’s lifetime, starting in 1529, and in at least one version of the Book of Concord printed in 1580. A translation into English, on which this translation is based, is found in LW 53:110–15 (WA 30/3: 74–80).
127 Geistliche: Luther uses a common term for clergy and monks.
128 Here and throughout this tract: Stand, meaning “walk of life.”
129 For a similar criticism, see also The Estate of Marriage (1522) (WA 10/2: 275–304; LW 45:17–49) and The Judgment of Martin Luther on Monastic Vows (1521) (WA 8:573–669; LW 44:245–400).
130 Cf. “Sermon at Marriage of Sigismund von Lindenau” (1545) (WA 49:802, 11–22; LW 51:363f.).
131 Luther is thinking of the general prayers made by the community in worship.
132 Luther called the chief pastor in a town its bishop. For example, see Lectures on 1 Timothy (1528) (WA 26:49, 5–51, 9; LW 28:281–84); Answer to the Hyperchristian . . . Book (1521) (WA 7:630, 10–632, 19; LW 39:154–56); and Instruction of the Visitors (1528) (WA 26:196, 1–197, 10; LW 40:269–71), as well as the SC, “Preface,” 1, and “Household Chart,” 2.
133 For Luther’s opinion of betrothals, see On Marriage Matters (1530) (WA 30/3: 224, 32–225, 29; LW 46:290f.).
134 The text reads Hans und Greta, common names for a couple, but also the names of Luther’s own parents.
135 Luther believed that marriage should follow soon after betrothal. Because the exchange of vows was considered a matter of civil law, it took place at the door of the church.
136 Matthew 19:6*.
137 This marks the beginning of the worship service.
* 18 Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper as his partner.” Genesis 2:18 (NRSV)
* 21 So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then he took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh.
22 And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man.
23 Then the man said, “This at last is bone of my bonesand flesh of my flesh; this one shall be called Woman, for out of Man this one was taken.”
24 Therefore a man leaves his father and his mother and clings to his wife, and they become one flesh. Genesis 2:21–24 (NRSV)
138 With the 1536 edition of the Small Catechism, the text follows the complete edition of the Luther Bible from 1534. Earlier texts read: “who will be his companion.”
139 Ephesians 5:25–29* and 5:22–24*.
140 Throughout this passage the German is Gemeine, literally, “congregation.”
141 Before 1536: “present for himself a glorious church.”
142 Genesis 3:16–19*.
143 Genesis 1:27f*. and 1:31*.
144 A paraphrase of Proverbs 18:22*. Before 1536 the text reads, “Whoever gets a wife gets a good thing and will obtain delight from the Lord.”
145 The following prayer is an adaptation of a traditional prayer used at nuptial Masses in Luther’s day.
146 Here: Kirchen. Luther did not view marriage as a sacrament, but uses the word here as found in the traditional prayer to refer to Ephesians 5:32*, where the Vulgate translates the Greek mysterion with sacramentum. See WA 6:550, 22–552, 27 (LW 36:92–95).